My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
