After last night, I could never be a politician.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
