I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
