Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize