UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
