You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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