put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
