no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
