what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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