oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
