I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
