I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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