that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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