Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

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(210): View more from Texas

By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

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(269): View more from Michigan

He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends

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(310): View more from California

Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?

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(970): View more from Colorado

definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.

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