thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
