turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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