As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
