Apparently you make a good broom.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No stitches, just platelets and will power
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
