what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The best revenge is premature balding
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
