I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
