The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize