I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
