I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
