One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
