you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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