My Higher Power is John Stamos
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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