I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
