im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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