I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
