Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
