It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
