Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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