they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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