I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
