So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
