I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
