I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize