I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize