I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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