Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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