ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
