first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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