Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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