Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
