I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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