Im at strip club and am horny
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
NoShamevember. You game?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
