I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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