We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
