don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
