I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
