so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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