He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
