I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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