Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
