well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm passing your future prison.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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