they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she peed on how many people?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
