I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
