Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You can't motorboat a personality
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
