wat bout pragnant strippers??
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
