We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
