thus making me awesome and them whores
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
