I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
