It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
